Do I Need to Believe in Myself?
A much younger me tried (and tried) to “believe in myself.” I wanted to succeed and find a meaningful, profitable path in the world, and I thought “believing” in myself was the way to do that. But I eventually came to understand the power of belief differently, not only related to myself but also as a strategy for successful outcomes for those around me, including clients and the companies I support.
This is a story that, as I reflect back on it, was key to my reframing.
In 1991, I worked as an intern for the NBA’s Washington Bullets (now the Wizards). The team’s marketing tagline was “You gotta believe.” The gist was that while the team had only won about 40% of its games the previous two seasons, we, as an organization, were still charged with being the hype squad for generating ticket sales and advertising revenue. Not easy to do when you mostly lose.
But despite these poor stats, our leader had a strategy to overcome them based on “belief.” If we believed we “could” win, that we were worthy, and acted “as if” we were the best team to watch on any given Tuesday night, then the fans and sponsors would look past the team’s actual performance and buy into that confidence. We were encouraged to ignore the score, the chronic disappointment, the frustration of various player dynamics - and sell a different product called, “Let’s watch and find out!”
And, it worked. But not as you might expect.
Season ticket sales did indeed increase, most likely because our energy as a marketing and sales department was acting as though we had a winning team on our hands. Advertisers assumed we knew something they didn’t. Many high-fives were exchanged as we counted the days until the actual season would begin, all of us a little dumbstruck at how “belief” had shifted the tides, even before the team set foot on the court.
The season started positively with two quick wins. By the third game, though, it became pretty evident that the marketing and sales teams “belief” didn’t also translate to the court. Five straight losses would set the tone for the rest of the season and the team would finish worse than the previous two.
I remember thinking to myself, “that’s the problem with believing. It doesn’t always work.” But that’s when I started to understand belief differently.
For one thing, our sales were steady - so whatever “belief” energy was at work was pretty effective at the part we, as a marketing team, could control. Almost as though we had blinders on, we kept at our pitches and calls, and billed our games as “must see!” and for “true fans!” This created urgency, momentum and positivity around our losing team, paradoxically. And, importantly, it was true!
It didn’t matter that they lost, we realized.
We didn’t claim that they would win - how could we?
But we believed they could….that they had the potential…and what did matter was a full house, packed with noisy fans, stomping feet, boos and hisses, shrieks and spontaneous “waves” when something did go well. It was - indeed - the best place to be.
Our belief made it a “win” for anyone who bought a ticket or became a sponsor, despite the performance of the team. It became almost beside the point.
So when people talk about “believing in yourself,” I think it’s actually a different understanding of belief for the very reasons I describe above.
We can “believe” in “great outcomes” without it being about believing in ourselves - or others. Which is kind of a relief, once you embrace this approach.
“Believing” in yourself as an idea can be hard for even the most confident and capable among us. On a down day, we might identify as a “losing team” and feel disappointed at our title, earnings or circumstances in life. So we fail to “believe” because the person looking back in the mirror doesn’t seem like they can “win the game.” So it’s not a reliable “belief” system to convince yourself that “you” are the thing to believe in. Yet, you are part of - and very important to - the results.
So what can we believe in?
When I talk to CEO’s or founders about self-confidence, about believing in themselves, I frame it in these four ways that all essentially boil down to a belief in possibility:
“Believe that you have no idea how much you know.” Most of them can get on board with that because they DO surprise themselves with knowledge that “came out of nowhere.”
“Believe that the world works in mysterious dimensions, and you can’t possibly know what seeds you planted yesterday, last week or a year ago that might flower tomorrow.” They agree, and understand that they’ve made efforts and planted seeds that haven’t yet “bloomed.”
“Believe that you have experience that no one else has had.” They agree, because only they have lived their life, and when we have experiences we often don’t know why, until later, when it all makes sense.
“Believe that you can take steps, every single day, to effectively move the needle.” Action matters! No founder or CEO can disagree with this crucial step, mostly because they love being productive.
When you’re running a company or even a business unit of a company, we often think we’re carrying everything on our shoulders. We don’t always know what we’re supposed to “believe in,” since belief in oneself wavers easily, as anyone who feels confident at breakfast and defeated by lunch can tell you.
Whether we’re in a winning streak or perceived downward spiral, we can’t predicate our “success” based on a one-dimensional scoreboard. My work with leaders helps create a world where we ignore the score for a minute - intentionally - and invest in taking the next right step for the best outcome possible by taking a systemic approach.
That way the ultimate objective is not just growth, but rather sustainable growth. An improved quarter or year but ongoing growth is better.
When we look at optimal outcomes, we reverse engineer the path to get there, and begin taking steps toward Better - and then Best.
Here’s the net:
Take smart, meaningful, consistent action.
Be open to varieties of success - not just “scoreboard” points.
Then, detach from immediate outcomes.
Let your effort and mindset start revealing your wins - likely different wins than you initially thought.
This combination has led many a founder or CEO to “believe” in something even greater, deeper and more magical - than themselves. Yet, they were the magnet in materializing positive change.
This is the work I catalyze for CEO’s when something…isn’t working.
So take a need from your own life and apply this lesson.
Let me know how it goes by replying here or shooting me a note. I appreciate every reply to these newsletters!
And, if you think someone needs to read this, please forward it. Most of us could use some encouragement when our “team” could be doing better.
Here’s to believing in “more” than yourself. Here’s to possibility…
BG
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